Not a good "Mommy Day"

Tonight as I tiredly headed to bed, I realized it had not been a good "Mommy Day." This is the first day in several weeks that I worked all day (all day being until 2:30 when I got in car line to get E). I have to admit I was excited to be back in the swing of things and working at my dad's office. He was on his way to Osceola, so it was just me. I don't often get to be alone in a quiet place. I listened to and sang along to Air 1. It was great. As I left the office, I made mental notes about what I need to do first when I get back in the office.

It was after I picked up the little girls (i.e. Mollie and Annie) from Britt and Ellie from school that our day began to go shall we say a little south. While I was baking chocolate chip cookies, Mollie pooped in the potty! Yes, there was much rejoicing! As a reward, I brought in "The Dollhouse." Mollie has been waiting and waiting to get to bring in the dollhouse. Our excitement was short-lived. While, E and M were checking out the new house, Mollie pooped her pull up. Really? I mean honestly! Not 2 minutes ago, I had said "Thank you Lord for reminding me all I had to do was to give this (our need to potty train completely) to you!" So, off to bed Mollie went for a nap. After she slept for a bit and Annie had had her dinner, we ran an errand and came home to make dinner and bathe the angels.

At this point, things were under control. Then, American Idol came on. I could slowly feel things beginning to digress...So, E was dancing around "twirling" a baton. M was bouncing around. Fortunately, A was in bed - PRAISE GOD! It wasn't that they did anything really bad. It was just that no one could seem to obey. If I said stop, they got louder or faster. I finally got the girls into bed when E started her new "thing." She has this little prissy attitude that just crawls all over me. My sweet little, helpful girl is turning into this big girl. ARGH!! After being really firm with her and telling her goodnight, I had the sense that the Lord wanted me to go back into Ellie's room and explain to her why I had fussed at her. As I sat on her bed explaining that God can't look at our sin, Ellie was response was, "You've told me that two times now."

REALLY??? Oh, it was all I could do to sit there. I couldn't make her understand the importance of respect and obedience. I'm praying that God will make me consistent and make me a better mommy so that I can teach Ellie and Mollie and Annie the way that they should go.

I have to be careful when I get frustrated with the kids. My fuse tends to be short, and I get really upset about even the smallest thing that isn't that big of a deal. I lose sight of "Is this childish behavior or rebellion." Things have been like for the last 18 months or so. I didn't think too much about it until about a year ago. I was officially diagnosed with anemia due to pregnancy. I had an iron infusion on Feb. 11, 2009 (my BF and I were in the hospital at the same time although she was delivering her baby James). It was either get the iron infusion or a blood transfusion. I felt like the iron infusion was the better choice. Since then, I have had several follow-up appointments with my hematologist Dr. Baltz. He originally thought that everything would be much better after Annie arrived. Unfortunately, it hasn't been better. About 3 weeks ago, I found out that my body is not making and storing the blood that it needs (aka iron). He put me on an iron supplement. I have no idea if it's working to solve the problem, but I do know that it has been enough to make me feel a little bit like me again. I can take on several tasks and actually get them accomplished. I don't feel like I'm going to loose it or that if I don't lay down I'm toast. I seem to be handling life a little better. The comment has been made that I don't seem to be able to get anything done. It's been hard to accomplishment tasks, to stay on-task and to just get done what needs to be done.

I'm praying that things will continue to improve and praying that tomorrow will be a better "Mommy Day."

Look at these faces! How could I not want to be a better mom?